I can't believe it's been so long since my last blog post.
A lot has happened in the last year, including getting pregnant with our baby girl and transitioning to life with a newborn.
Although those can be very valid reasons of why I've been quiet, the truth is, perfectionism was the reason. The truth is, that I could have been sharing so many aspects of my life in the last 12 months- from the pregnancy, to trying out homeschooling, health flare ups, decorating, organizing, my home birth experience, basically...anything in my life! I mean, that is what a blog is for, right? Sharing?! Whether it be thoughts, ideas, emotions, tips, experiences, etc., and here I was, not sharing because I was waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect words, the perfect message, the perfect layout, the perfect pictures.
I've done this with more than just the blog. I haven't made some of my photo albums on Facebook visible to friends yet because I wanted to have the right captions, description and all photos compiled. So as of now, only those that are tagged in the photos can see them (uhmmm, it goes back to Christmas and it's July...HELLO!)
The combined birthday shower that was in February...I am JUST now finishing up my thank you cards. (Eeek!)
Or how about how I have been meaning to share my birth story with Annabelle and why we chose home birth this time around. Uh, she's almost 3 1/2 months! Oh mylanta!
Or how I've felt the tug to have some conversations with some folks in my life...but have been putting it off because of not having the "right" words or the "right" moment.
It's been on my heart the last few weeks to really let go of perfectionism.
To let go of fear of being rejected if things aren't perfect...because honestly, even when they are, there is always going to be at least one person that still says something or still rejects you.
To let go of the doubt I feel on whether what I am sharing is helpful or if anyone cares...because if it could help even one person, that is more than enough...and because if I feel God is leading me to do something, it doesn't matter the reason- I will go.
And the truth is, even when I am completely imperfect, or if I am rejected, or constantly doubtful, I have a God who loves me perfectly, never rejects me and created my most inward parts. And when I remind myself of that over and over and over again, and when I go back to believing it in my heart, the perfectionism paralysis dissipates. Instead, life becomes so FREEING.
So this is my public declaration of giving myself more permission to LET GO, BE FREE (in His love and approval), and ACT!
Here's to blog posts that may not make sense, tons of typos, imperfect photos and formatting, stuttering and rambling in videos, photos with no captions, late uploading,and probably late of a lot of stuff!
And while I will most definitely work on bettering each of those areas, DONE is better than STUCK.
Who of my fellow recovering perfectionists are with me?!
Lots of Love,
Phoebe Grace