Take a Risk

My family and I are currently vacationing in the Philippines. The other day, we went zip lining at Hannah 's Beach Resort in Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte. The resort prides itself as being the longest zip line to go over water in the world!

Taken from my Galaxy S4

I am afraid of heights, so this was definitely a fear of mine going into it. I'm the type of person that thinks of the worst case scenarios before these things go down:

 -Will the wire snap?
-Will my harness go undone?
-Will I fall in the water and drown?
-Will I fall in the water and get eaten by a [non-existing] shark in the beach?
-Will lightning strike me while I'm up there?

And my personal favorite... 

-Will my hair get caught on something, rip off my head and be all painful and gross looking? 

Anyone with me? Or am I just crazy?

I've accepted that I am crazy. But I knew that if I did not do this, there was a high probability that I would leave this vacation and the Philippines with much regret.

My hubby, cousins, brother and dad all ready to go!

I was afraid, nervous and anxious every step of the way: from buying the tickets, putting on the gear, the drive up to the zip lining area, walking up the stairs to the platform, to stepping on to the deck. I told the worker a few times I was not ready for step off. And even when I thought I was, I told the guy, "Wait, I'm not ready yet," and told him I needed to pray. He probably thought I was crazy, as did my family.

Getting ready before take off! Taken by my cousin.

Then, it was time to take the push and go! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared even after take off. Just seeing how far up I was and imagining one of my scary scenarios coming true had me screaming. But then, I started focusing on other things. I focused on the lush greenery and the beautiful shades of blue and green and clearness of the water. All the sudden, my fears and anxiety turned into joy, peace, awe and gratitude. I could not help but be in awe of God for the beauty that was in front of me and how  blessed I was that I got to experience it. 

You can faintly see the line over the beach. The beginning was on the top of the greenery on the mountain. So beautiful!

In life, we are afraid to take many risks, especially with big decisions. Sometimes it can be which college to attend, our marriage, who we should continue dating, our careers, a job opportunity, what school our child should go to, etc. We think of the possible worst case [sometimes unrealistic] scenarios, and they can sometimes paralyze us and deprive us of an amazing, once in a lifetime opportunity that will leave us with such peace and awe. Can it still be scary? Of course. Will the wind and rain fall on us and go against us after we make the jump? Possibly. Will we regret taking the leap? Sometimes. But it is much better than living with the regret of what could have been if we did not at least try. 

Alan enjoying! 2 seconds later, it started raining.

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be feared or be dismayed." (Deuteronomy 31.8) God is with you through the scary times. He is with you through the rain, and He is with you in the joy. Take a risk and take the step my friend. You never know what you are missing out on. The beauty of life is such that if we do not like a decision we made, there can still be another one we can make to bring us to where we want to be. 

Lots of love,
Phoebe Grace

Water the "Droughts" In Your Life

The state of California has been in a drought for a few years now. They just announced this past week that our usage has dropped 27.3%, a little bit more than the 25% mandate for June. (http://ca.gov/drought/) Maybe we are starting to see the seriousness of what could happen if we continue to not have rain? 

But, this specific post isn't about the drought per se, although I do have tips for you to save that has worked for us, so maybe another post for another time!

The rules and recommendations of how and when to water our lawns kind of clicked to me in a different way this week.

In our area, EB MUD (East Bay Municipal Utility District) requires that we water no more than two days per week with no runoff and that we water only before 9 am or after 6 pm. (https://www.ebmud.com/customers/drought/). Now, as you can clearly see, I am SUCH an expert at lawn-keeping and landscaping:

weeds taller than me....weeds....and more dead weeds galore!

Yeah...NOT!

I was curious about the time frame restriction. Being the [not] expert, I was assuming it was because watering during the day would cause such a quick dry out from the sun anyway that it wouldn't be the most beneficial or effective option. After a little research, I found out I was right. And then it hit me...

Life is the same way. 

Has your marriage ever experienced a "drought"? Or how about your career, parenting, relationship, your health goals, your search for purpose, or maybe those that are longing for a relationship, or maybe a child to call your own? Perhaps you are currently in a drought season now and it feels so dead and dry, and you don't know when the next rain is going to come to quench your "lawn's" thirst. My encouragement for you, my dear friend, is that you hang on tight and keep your hope alive. Even the most dead of lawns, trees and plants can be revived.

It can be easy to water our yards when it is convenient for us. Personally for me, I cannot do it in the morning before work, which some experts say is actually the best time. And when I finally remember to water it, it is at night because it is better for me. But we would be wise to listen to the professionals if we want to make the best use of our water and to have it have the best effects on our yard. 

Back to life: our marriages are so precious and delicate, our health is so important, parenting and our careers need such care, guidance and perseverance...how can we possibly juggle it all?! It is no wonder that many areas of our life seem so dry and dead. We are overwhelmed; and our "yards" are suffering. Our marriages, our children, our bodies, our relationships, our careers. 

Some would argue that watering yards during the day is better than nothing. I'm not sure how true that is, but in life, yes, going to a marriage retreat when things are rocky, or going to counseling are great things, and things we should be doing. But, if we are only doing it during the heat of conflicts and tension, then like our yards, our marriage will soon dry up. Our efforts to strengthen it will be BEST used in the cooler moments, so that the water can take root...meaning show love and respect to your spouse as much as you can, in the good and the bad seasons.

Another personal "drought" for me is that I struggle with emotional eating. When I am having a hard day, I want to indulge in such unhealthy food, desserts, and chocolate...lots of all of the above. I think that I am "treating" myself in the heat and peak of my stress, but actually I end up hurting my body after doing that. And if I'm being honest, many times, I feel terrible emotionally after with regret. But, if I take the time to care for myself in the cooler moments - cut back on scheduling, eat healthier majority of the time, pray and meditate often, practice a gratitude-attitude - then, I wouldn't believe the lie that I need to indulge to feel better. (One recent thing I have been doing is starting my day with First 5, and so far, I have been loving it!)

Whatever your "drought" may be, know that it is okay, to not be okay. You may be like me, where you haven't watered your "lawn", or "trees" in soooo long. But God's love and mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23) There is nothing He can not bring to life. The resurrection of Jesus shows us not only that, but also that His Love overcomes everything forever. It will take time, and it will definitely take multiple steps, but there is Hope. Please don't wait until a severe "drought" crisis before doing what is best for you, your family and your life. 

What "droughts" are you experiencing?

Lots of Love,
Phoebe Grace 

Our pear tree that used to produce so many pears, but now has only few pears and empty branches. Working on reviving it!

It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Welcome to my first blog post! 

I didn't want to go live yet, because I didn't have the pictures I wanted, the website wasn't set up the way I wanted, and the list went on and on.

At my church, they often say, "It's okay, to not be okay." God loves you just as you are; there is nothing more or less that you could do to change how much He already unconditionally, immensely, and graciously loves you. I know this, yet I struggle with believing it in my heart at times.

I announced last September that we were transitioning the business into a blog. And here we are almost 11 months later, and I still haven't went live because of wanting it to be perfect. Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that we should not strive to be the best, nor should we not want things to be amazing before completing something.

But sometimes, perfection is overrated. Sometimes, perfection sucks the life and happiness out of you. Lastly, perfection can draw you further away from God. 

Me wanting the blog to have perfect pictures, be in the perfect format, and have perfect content was draining the life and happiness out of me. There was always something that I could do better. There was always someone who I was comparing myself to. At the rate I was going, I would never start.

For me, the most important thing I found, was that it was drawing me further away from God. This may look different for everyone, but for me, it did this in two main ways. One, it was making me believe that I was doing this on my own- that the successes and failures of what would happen, fall solely on me, instead of leaning on God. And secondly, it was putting a gigantic, never-ending red light on what I believed to be a dream, calling and passion of mine. 

After much reflection and realization, it was no wonder I would feel more pressure, more disappointment, more discouragement, and more discontent because I wasn't doing what I felt and believed I was supposed to be doing...all because of perfection. 

So today, I am saying goodbye to perfection! (Temporarily, at least...I'm a work in progress!) 

The follow-up to what my church says is this, "It's okay to not be okay. It's NOT okay to stay there."

It's okay that I let perfection, excuses, and fear run my [delayed] blog for awhile. God loves me just as I am. It's not okay to stay here. You will see my mess ups, you will see my accomplishments, you will see my pain and fears, as well as my joys. There will be typos, there will be pictures from my camera phone and incomplete blog pages. But I will no longer let perfection get a hold of my future! 

Today, I take this step!

Does perfection steal your joy or dreams? Affect your marriage? Parenting? Career? How does perfection affect your life?

Lots of Love,
Phoebe Grace